Hello Reader,

Happy Friday. I hope your February is off to a good start!

I wanted to loop back around with a bit more roadside assistance for your goals and plans as you head into this new year.

Last week we covered these two common roadblocks:

#1 – “I didn’t set goals because I’m not even sure what I want.”

and,

#2 – “I started out strong but now I’ve all but abandoned my goals. I’ve got to get back on it.”

(Click here if you want my advice for getting past those two!)

Today I’m sharing advice for how to handle two more common obstacles on the journey toward achieving our goals:

Procrastination and (de)Motivation.

Whenever I do a workshop on goal-setting these are the top two problems that people expect to have when it comes to going after their goals.

It's a classic conundrum of, "I know I want to do this, so why can't I get myself to do it!?"

Excellent question. Let's dig in.

Common Roadblock #3

“My goals are still important to me, but I’m not really making progress. I keep procrastinating."

Common causes:

Psychologists have found that we typically procrastinate when we are trying to avoid experiencing some kind of emotion. Our task is stirring up some emotion that we'd rather not feel, like boredom, anxiety or fear of failure, and that's why we often want to supplant it with something nicer (funny cat videos! chocolate! lying down!).

When a client shares that they're procrastinating with a goal, my first question is whether this goal is really the right goal for them. This is something important to clarify right away. A goal is going to be more successful long-term if it's something you truly want to do, versus something you feel like you "should" do.

Once it's clear that this really is their goal and it's still important to them, then we start exploring the emotions that are coming up.

A note on perfectionism: It often leads to procrastination. If you have an underlying fear that you can't start until you have everything perfect, or that you won't succeed at your goal because you're not good enough, this can become a very big block.

Try this:

Spend some time journaling about what emotions or thoughts come up for you when it’s time for you to work on this goal. The first step is understanding what emotions, beliefs or ideas it brings up for you.

Once you've identified what's coming up for you internally, check in with yourself about whether this goal really feels like your goal (not someone else's) and journal about what's important to you about this goal.

Journaling prompt: If you were able to accomplish this goal, what would be the impact on you and your life? What would be the impact on those around you?

Self-compassion is very important when you want to get out of procrastination mode. And it's effective! Some of the emotional patterns that are coming up may be very old for you, dating back to your childhood. Acknowledge the feelings you have and find one small way to move forward. Be mindful of the fact that the change you're asking of yourself might actually be quite big and significant, and be patient with yourself. Small, steady steps are really a big win here – and they do add up.
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Common Roadblock #4

“I’m starting to lose motivation with my goal(s).”

Common causes:

To achieve a goal, we need to make changes in both our behavior and in our mindset. These are not easy. We're also going to run into obstacles of all sizes, some predictable and some entirely unexpected.

I find that motivation is often linked to "feeling good." Setting goals feels good. It's exciting, and promising. Making progress on our goals – ticking things off our list, meeting milestones – also feels very good. But there's a no man's land in between these "feel good" points, where we need to overcome real difficulties and maintain the determination to keep going even when it doesn't feel particularly good.

A drop in motivation can also signal that your expectations are too high and your goal suddenly seems too far out of reach. A lot of what happens in life is out of our control, so it makes sense that we need to adjust our goals regularly and accordingly.

Try this:

If you did set your expectations too high, adjust your goal and your next steps to be more attainable. Attainable goals are more motivating.

Also, start to create a habit of tracking and celebrating your progress. As I mentioned before, making progress feels good and is highly motivating. Tracking and celebrating your progress doesn’t have to be anything fancy. It can be as simple as a piece of paper on your desk where you write down three ways you made progress each day or week. The celebration can be as easy as saying something encouraging to yourself like “Yeah, nice work!”

If you're really stuck, return back to the idea that what's motivating is what feels good. What is the next small thing you could do toward your goal that would feel good / easy / somewhat enjoyable? Do that.

February is an excellent time to start

I often find that February is the month when the new year really kicks off. (The Chinese have it right! 🧧)

January often ends up being too chaotic to make any real plans or to find the steady energy needed to make progress toward our goals.

There’s a holiday hangover, there’s getting back into routine, and there’s high energy to do things differently which can lead to overwhelm. And for those of us in the middle of winter, there are also snowstorms and catching colds.

(Even in sunny Spain, I had both of those happen in January! ❄️ 🤧)

I hope you find something here that supports you with your goals, Reader.

If you ever feel like you could use deeper, more personalized support on your goals this year, let me know! This is what I work on weekly and bi-weekly with my clients, and it's wonderful to see their progress.

Warm regards,

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Hi, I'm Lisa Hoashi. I'm a coach who can help you find clarity about what's important and what's next in moments of important change. Curious about working together? ​Schedule​ a free, no-obligation conversation with me.